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Hey dude Hey What’s up Just playing some Street Fighters. But you’re getting your ass kicked. Look, I’m a little bit nervous Luigi. What you mean Let me explain I’ve got this chick’s breath on my neck, I even dated her a couple of times but. So you want to break up with this girl and you don’t know how That’s right, I really don’t know what to tell her. Have you tried with the same old excuses Sure, I told her I was busy, and she asked me to find some time, that she could make some efforts for me. But I need to make her understand that it’s over.

Tell her you’re going to war! That doesn’t make any sense, I didn’t even serve for the army. But you have been playing Call of Duty since forever! I. I don’t think war could actually be a good idea. Have you tried with the other old excuse Which one The one everyone uses, I’m from the future Yeah right! I tell her I’m from the future and I’m HER SON! That’s right. I’m from the future. I’m your son. That’s an incest. It could never work between us.

Actually I’m not even sure that incest would be a problem for her. She’s pretty hardcore. Listen, do you really want to break up with this girl For Good I really don’t want to see her anymore. Never again. Then why are you being so picky, you should be more motivated! I really don’t know what to do man! Actually I have a good excuse. It’s a safe bet excuse. What That’s something very powerful, but I’m sure, you’ll get out of this totally clean. You sure.

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You don’t have to worry, she won’t even hold a grudge against you How long does it take Just a minute actually. Just one text. Two words. I’VE AIDS. I’VE AIDS. Oh, come ON! I can’t tell her. I’m sure it works, trust me I’VE AIDS. Simple. Linear. Somehow minimalist. I. I don’t know, I’m not sure about something that direct. That’s crystal clear dude, text her now, trust me. Is that ok No, write it properly, there’s too many letters. Make it shorter and spell it right.

It’s just three words. No, that’s wrong just write it like I spell it IVEAIDS IVEAIDS. Zero punctuation You sure she’ll get this Of course she will! That’s properly written! IVEAIDS ! I can guarantee to you, stay calm. You’ll be out of this in no time. I’ve even read some books about this. That’s 100 sure. Hey. She answered. Great, don’t you feel free already You ready IVE AIDS ME TOO LOL!!1! LMAO XD lt3 XOXOXO WHOAAHH Well! Look at that!.

No, no serously I didn’t fuck her! I just wanted to break with her! You slept at her place, she’s on your back like this and you’re saying that you didn’t fuck her right I slept at her place because I drove her back home and she didn’t let me go back at night! You don’t even drive. No man, seriously Do you believe me Yeah but don’t don’t touch me. No, seriously, you HAVE to believe me. Yeah, listen I just remembered I have an appointment and I’m late and I’ve to go.

It’s time for me to go. You don’t even have a watch. Look here. it’s pretty late. and. and I have to go. Why are you. You don’t believe me Of course I do! But right now I’m busy. and. you know I’ve to go. Just. wait. Well! Time to go! I’ll catch you later dude, alright Luigi, look. No, don’t worry, relax, play some Street Fighters, have a beer and just. just relax. It was your beer actually. No. I don’t need it. No. Don’t worry. Put it down. Put it. I SAID PUT IT DOWN! PUT IT DOWN NOW!.

Put it down slowly. Very slowly. There you go. Nobody’ll get hurt. Good boy. drink the beer. Luigi listen, I’m telling the truth! Yeah! I know! I trust you! You’re my friend and I’ve big trust in you! What you say is real! Luigi I swear to you. Ok, You know what, I’m gonna get HIV tested tomorrow. No! Don’t worry! there’s no need for a test! Just relax! Luigi, but. No way, don’t worry, great job. You’re the man. Keep it real. GUYS! BREAKING NEWS! MATTEO HAS AIDS! IT’S QUARANTINE! LISTEN UP! MATTEO HAS AIDS!.

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